Ripping off the band aid

Sometimes, when you love someone as deeply as I love...you just have to rip the band aid off.  You can go on for days, months, years....enjoying the moment, and hoping that they will someday love you back the way you love them...but you compromise yourself, and you resolve to be content with whatever part of themselves they are willing to give you.  What that boils down to...is accepting less than you deserve...and today, I finally became angry and decided that I will no longer accept less than I deserve.  I gave everything I could....I tried to protect him from my sickness, I made it my mission to uplift him and show him how much I cared, and lift him up, and show him love in every way I possibly could. Tonight - after being left hanging and being made to feel less than import for the umpteenth time in the last few weeks, I finally ripped it off and told him to get his things before I came home, and get out of my life.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and the mere thought of not experiencing the things in life that I had hoped to experience with him is excruciating....but in the same breath....the closure is almost peaceful.  The lesson I have learned is that nothing good lasts forever, and the only course of action that I have is to let go, and try to find a way to remember the good things instead of the pain.  I will love him unconditionally until the day I die....but now...I have to love myself more, than to allow myself to be only an option. Dear holy Father - please wrap me in your arms tonight, and ease my pain.  Comfort me, and allow me to rest peacefully and awake with a new heart and spirit tomorrow, and most of all, I pray -- that someday  he will find someone to love that will love him with the unconditional love that I have for him in my heart.